Changes

I've been blogging now for just over 4 months and I finally wrote something on my profile. 'Bout time, huh? I realized over 100 people had looked at it to no avail, so I decided I'd better get with it.

I wonder what God is doing in Paul and my lives right now. It's strange how we've come to this fall ready for new things. Paul is taking a couple of general education classes at BCC (man, better him than me!). I'm not sure what's going on in my life, though. The Lord seems to be leading me out of my comfort zone (which I usually don't have to go far to be out of!). It started last week when I got up the courage to go and talk with a dear friend's mom who I'd never met before. She has prayed faithfully for Ben through his cancer trial. Meeting someone sounds simple, right? Not for this shy girl. Then I went to sing with a choir the other night FULL of people I didn't know (save a couple). Today I attended a prayer breakfast in South Seattle (I'd known S. Seattle existed, but had been told it was pretty scary) with a room not only full of people I'd never met (not a one of them), but from completely different cultures than my own (except for the fact that we were all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, which, of course, makes them all my brothers and sisters anyway!).

What intrigues me the most about these adventures in boldness, is that I've really, really enjoyed myself. It's like the Lord is giving me lessons in loving people and not being all wrapped up in myself. Man, I'd love to learn these lessons well!

Once again, it's bedtime. Oh, pray for Ben. His counts aren't responding very well. He received platelets and 2 units of blood today, which should help. He still is plagued with fevers, too.

Love,

Jenfier

A Wonderful Evening & My Verses

On Thursday evenings, Paul and I are part of a small Bible study group. Tonight, however, it didn't meet due to several of the ladies in the group being away at a quilting retreat. So, tonight I went to Cedar Park Church and sang with Daniel Perrin's choir there. What a lovely evening. It was refreshment to my soul, which it was in need of. What fun to sing back through the Star songs that we recorded so many years ago (13?)! During the recording sessions, when I wasn't singing, I sat in the studio and prayed while the recording was going on. It's so cool to see God's hand still on the work we did there.

So, thank You, Lord, for a night that was a gift from Your hand.

Love,

Jenifer


(...a bit later...) I just went back and read through my previous posts. In one of them I said I would write out the verses God has given me since Ben was diagnosed. I think now is a good time. This will be long, but it's an exercise I need to do. Most of them have the date given to me. They are in chronological order (earliest to latest).

"See now that I, I am He,
And there is no god besides Me;
It is I who put to death and give life.
I have wounded and it is I who heal,
And there is no one who can deliver from My hand." (Deut. 32:39)

May 14
"The Lord is the One who goes before you;
He will be with you.
He will not fail you or forsake you.
Do not fear or be dismayed." (Deut. 31:8)

May 15
"Of Benjamin he said,
'May the beloved of the Lord dwell in security by Him,
Who shields him all the day,
And he dwells between His shoulders.'" (Deut. 33:12)

May 17
"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace,
Because he trusts in You." (Is. 26:3)

May 17
"I will not die, but live,
And tell of the works of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
But He has not given me over to death." (Ps. 118:17, 18--This is THE verse that I believe the Lord has given me specifically for Ben.)

May 21
"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" (Jer. 32:27)
"For thus says the Lord, "Just as I brought all this great disaster on this people, so I am going to bring on them all the good that I am promising them." (Jer. 32:42)
"Ah Lord God! Behold You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You." (Jer. 32:17)

May 22
"Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us." (Ps. 62:8)

May 24
" He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." (Ps. 23:3)

May 26
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you." (Is. 43:1b-2, emphasis mine)

June 4
"I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.
This poor (afflicted) man cried, and the Lord heard him
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
And rescues them." (Ps. 34:4-7)

June 14
"Behold, all those who are angered at you will be shamed and dishonored;
Those who contend with you will be as nothing and will perish.
You will seek those who quarrel with you, but will not find them,
Those who war with you will be as nothing and non-existent.
For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand,
Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'" (Is. 41:11-13)

June 26
"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting." (Ps. 126:5)
"The Lord has done great things for us;
We are glad." (Ps. 126:3--this came the day of Ben's first CT scan results after 3 rounds of chemo)

July 13
"...And you shall commit to Me the work of My hands." (Is. 45:11b--emphasis mine--the Lord's way of telling me to stop reading about DSRCT cancer on the internet!)

July 14
"O Lord, You are my God;
I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name;
For You have worked wonders,
Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness." (Is. 25:1)

July 16
Listen to Me, Jenifer,
You have been borne by Me from birth
And have been carried from the womb;
Even to your old age I am the same,
And even to your graying years I will bear you!
I have made you, and I will carry you,
And I will bear you and I will deliver you." (Is 46:3,4--name change mine, obviously...)

July 19
"Those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame." (Is 49:23)

July 23
"Surely our sickness He Himself bore,
And our pains He carried." (Is. 53:4a,3ish--emphasis mine)

July 24
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord give grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk with integrity." (Ps. 84:11)

August 3 (my birthday!)
"More than the sounds of many waters,
Than the mighty breakers of the sea,
The Lord on high is mighty." (Ps 93:4--the mighty breakers=hardships in life)

August 8
"Blessed be the Lord,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplication.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped
And with my song I shall thank Him." (Ps. 28:6,7)

September 6
"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death." (Phil. 3:8-10--emphasis mine)

September 18
"On the day I called, You answered me."
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You will revive me." (side note says, "Keep me alive)
"The Lord will accomplish what concerns me." (All from Ps. 138)

There ya go. God is good!

Some things just make you smile...

Beth, our nearly 21-year-old daughter (boy, it's really weird to say I have a daughter nearly 21), is heading off to Western Washington University for the first time this fall. As she prepares for living in her first on-campus apartment (she'd had enough of dorm life at TWU), there have been some things that she's just HAD to have. A couple of them really make me smile.

When Paul and I were married nearly 28 years ago, one of our wedding gifts was a set of 4 Corningware mixing bowls. They were the color of the time--earthtones. I still have those bowls and use them daily. Beth saw them (get this!) in an antique store. She was amazed how expensive they were even to this day, but found a set for $25 and snatched them up. (I never would have thought that Corningware mixing bowls would appreciate in price!) Beth felt she needed those bowls to make her living situation complete. That makes me smile--happy memories of her childhood.

The other necessity was another bowl. For years, although not as many as the afore mentioned bowls, I've had a stainless steel bowl that is really the top part of a double boiler. This bowl has had 2 major uses in the Morrell household--making biscuits and being a sick bowl (although not at the same time, mind you). There were times when it disappeared for a few weeks when one of the kids had felt nauseated and took it to his room (read Ben), only for me to find it later hiding behind a bed, etc. This bowl, too, made it onto the Beth Morrell-must-have list. (After all, what is she going to throw up in?) It was acquired at an estate sale.

Seeing my last child off to her Junior year of college is bittersweet. It is time for the little birdy to fly from the nest, but has been wonderful to have her home this summer. She worked HARD as a receptionist at Microsoft and earned a good wage. She gained an open invitation to return whenever she was in town. She has grown into a wonderful young woman.

I am so thrilled with what the Lord is doing in all of my children's lives. He's shown Himself so faithful to Ben and Lisa as they deal with Ben's cancer. He's provided a wonderful teaching job for Adam in Tacoma, and a great place for he and Sheli to live in Gig Harbor (very close to Sheli's teaching job!). He is faithfully leading Beth to WWU, going before her as she lives with 3 girls she's never met, all probably international students.

And so, Paul and I once again come to empty nesting. What's next? Well, something new is on the horizon. Paul may be starting school with the goal of acheiving his bachelor's degree. Is 48 too late? I don't think so. Will it be hard work, requiring a lot of motivation? You bet! (Along with still running a small business!) Please pray for us during these days ahead--it will take more than 4 years for him to see his goal through. I'm excited, but know we'll need a ton to God's grace and mercy!

Much love,
Jenifer

Downs and Ups

As I was in loading the dishwasher, random thoughts of blogging were going through my head. It's been a while since I've even felt like writing. I guess I better strike while the iron is hot.

I hit the wall the other day (2 days, actually). I've realized since then how very much I didn't want anyone to know that. However, I desperately wanted someone who knew me very well to call during that time and say something like, "The Lord laid you on my heart, so I just thought I'd call and see how you are." But no. The funny thing is that I've found I crash, emotionally, when things are going well with Ben and there is really no reason to splatter. It doesn't make any sense, but that's what I do. Anyway, what really lifted me out of my dark hole was spending time with Ben. He was so full of life and hope that afternoon while we shopped for Lisa's birthday party stuff. We talked about where he and Lisa could buy a house someday and what he wanted to do when he went back to work full-time. It was a wonderfully uplifting time for me and I am grateful to the Lord for it.

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately (well, maybe not on those days mentioned above). I think it's easiest to see the lack of it in the ones closest to us. It's hardest to see the lack of it in ourselves! I do have so much to be grateful for! I remember Owen Hollingsworth telling me once that he told a man to go home and do nothing in prayer but thank the Lord for a week (or maybe it was a month). The man came back a changed individual. Ingratitude always reminds me of the dwarves toward the end of the C.S. Lewis book The Last Battle. They'd been cast into a small stable to be supposedly eaten by Tash, the evil god. It's a long story, but it turned out that they are really in Narnian heaven, which was incredibly beautiful, but they wouldn't look around to see where they were. They continued to sit in a huddle and grumble and complain. Now granted, we are not yet in heaven with the Lord Jesus, but we are so extremely blessed. We just need to look around sometimes...

Things to be thankful for this week:

Adam starts his teaching job in Tacoma, only 15 miles from where his new wife, Sheli, also starts her new teaching job. Yay! No long commutes!!

Ben continues to go through recovery from chemo 5 pretty well. No hospitalization! No infection! Paul and I plan to go over to Whidbey Island with Ben and Lisa Thursday through Saturday.

I choose to be thankful in advance for what the Lord is going to do in Beth's life at WWU. For the roommate He will provide for her, and for the building of dependence on Him that He is doing in her life.

Always, always, always for Paul who loves me and puts up with my weird emotions.

And, of course, for my God who has provided me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Messiah Jesus.

Jenifer