Downs and Ups

As I was in loading the dishwasher, random thoughts of blogging were going through my head. It's been a while since I've even felt like writing. I guess I better strike while the iron is hot.

I hit the wall the other day (2 days, actually). I've realized since then how very much I didn't want anyone to know that. However, I desperately wanted someone who knew me very well to call during that time and say something like, "The Lord laid you on my heart, so I just thought I'd call and see how you are." But no. The funny thing is that I've found I crash, emotionally, when things are going well with Ben and there is really no reason to splatter. It doesn't make any sense, but that's what I do. Anyway, what really lifted me out of my dark hole was spending time with Ben. He was so full of life and hope that afternoon while we shopped for Lisa's birthday party stuff. We talked about where he and Lisa could buy a house someday and what he wanted to do when he went back to work full-time. It was a wonderfully uplifting time for me and I am grateful to the Lord for it.

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately (well, maybe not on those days mentioned above). I think it's easiest to see the lack of it in the ones closest to us. It's hardest to see the lack of it in ourselves! I do have so much to be grateful for! I remember Owen Hollingsworth telling me once that he told a man to go home and do nothing in prayer but thank the Lord for a week (or maybe it was a month). The man came back a changed individual. Ingratitude always reminds me of the dwarves toward the end of the C.S. Lewis book The Last Battle. They'd been cast into a small stable to be supposedly eaten by Tash, the evil god. It's a long story, but it turned out that they are really in Narnian heaven, which was incredibly beautiful, but they wouldn't look around to see where they were. They continued to sit in a huddle and grumble and complain. Now granted, we are not yet in heaven with the Lord Jesus, but we are so extremely blessed. We just need to look around sometimes...

Things to be thankful for this week:

Adam starts his teaching job in Tacoma, only 15 miles from where his new wife, Sheli, also starts her new teaching job. Yay! No long commutes!!

Ben continues to go through recovery from chemo 5 pretty well. No hospitalization! No infection! Paul and I plan to go over to Whidbey Island with Ben and Lisa Thursday through Saturday.

I choose to be thankful in advance for what the Lord is going to do in Beth's life at WWU. For the roommate He will provide for her, and for the building of dependence on Him that He is doing in her life.

Always, always, always for Paul who loves me and puts up with my weird emotions.

And, of course, for my God who has provided me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Messiah Jesus.

Jenifer